Please complete the following short Toilet Training quiz:

Question:

As I said goodbye to our friends an hour or so ago, I casually mentioned that I was going to go home, make a nice cuppa and sit down for half an hour. Did I…

A.  Go home, make a nice cuppa and sit down for half an hour

B.  Go home, watch Ma Puce (The Artist Formerly Known As The Tinkerous Toddler) lovingly tend to her dolly who had “done a poo poo”. Then realise that the smell of poo poo was a little too realistic. Check Ma Puce’s pants and discover a horrid, stinking mess of poop sandwiched between her bottom and the pants, with bits having escaped onto her dress and the floor where she was sitting? Take Ma Puce into the bathroom to clean her up, realise there was so much poop the best thing to do was hose her down and give her a bath. Give the carpet a clean with carpet shampoo. Go downstairs and find another splat of escaped poop on the bottom stair and clean that carpet. Throw the knickers and 10+ poop covered wet wipes in the bin. Put a load of washing on, so the dress didn’t sit festering in poo for too long. Get the vacuum out to clean up the remains of the carpet shampoo. Get Ma Puce dried and dressed. Stick her in front of CBeebies for half an hour and then, finally, sit, no wait, fall down into a chair and clutch at my nice cuppa

Answer Key for Toilet Training Quiz:

All those who answered ‘A’ either live in some kind of fantasy world or have never toilet trained a two year old.

All those who answered ‘B’ have my empathy and sympathy for shared experiences.

*slurps tea and rocks gently back and forth*

mother.wife.me AKA Luci McQuitty Hindmarsh. I'm a London based blogger, writer and social media maven. This is a personal blog about my life as a MOTHER to a little girl, WIFE to a businessman husband and all the other general stuff that happens to ME.

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  • http://oldersinglemum.blogspot.co.uk/ Anya from Older Single Mum

    I remember my son pooing his pants and taking him to the loo where he couldn’t bear it and tore them off in a frenzy depositing poo all over the walls and floor. He never had another ‘accident’ but it put me right off Nutella!

    • http://www.motherwifeme.com mother.wife.me

      And you’ve just put me right off Nutella too with that!!! Bet you’re glad those ‘shitty’days are behind you! x

  • http://www.knackeredhousewife.com Lauren (@knackeredhwife)

    I walked in the living room a few weeks back to find Little Bear nappy-less and “innocently” engrossed in the TV, with a great big steamer on the laminate behind him!

    • http://www.motherwifeme.com mother.wife.me

      Oh yuk. Thank heavens it was laminate and not carpet!!

  • http://fivegoblogging.blogspot.com fivegoblogging

    My sympathies x
    PS shouldn’t that last sentence read *slurps COLD tea and rocks gently back and forth*?

    • http://www.motherwifeme.com mother.wife.me

      Yes, you are right, it should say cold tea!!!! x

    • http://www.facebook.com/ Elouise

      Now we know who the snesilbe one is here. Great post!

      • http://www.motherwifeme.com mother.wife.me

        Ha, thank you!

  • http://grenglish.co.uk Grenglish

    Tea… I would have cracked open the vino!

    Has happened to us… also have first hand experience of floaters in the bath and poos that have been trodden into the carpet… would you a: clean the toddler’s foot and leg first b: clean the carpet first c: crack open the vino first…

    Hmmmmm

    x

    • http://www.motherwifeme.com mother.wife.me

      I’m getting to the point where I just want to forget the rest and crack open the vino!!!!! We could start a mother’s drinking group, name it Shit ‘Fugees!!! Lx